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Where To Go From Here?

As I am faced with having to sell my home by the end of April 2020, due to time limitations on my disability benefits. I am confused.

I’m 67 years old and facing a problem I never thought I’d have. The unexpected loss of my disability benefits has been crushing.  I always believed that my current house would be my last house. But that is not to be.

I have choices, but I’m struggling to make decisions.  Chemo brain is real–and it doesn’t go away.  It’s not that I’m not as intelligent as I used to be, it’s just that I can’t concentrate and reason as I could before the cancer treatments.  I have trouble “finding” words, and expressing my thoughts and feelings.  I understand that thoughts become feelings, but it’s organizing the thoughts and realizing what is a thought as opposed to a feeling that is difficult now.

Every day I think something else would be the best choice.  I am alone, and it’s hard to make these huge life decisions on my own in this confused and frustrated state.  I’ve always been a person who can reason things out and make the best decisions.  But, I’m definitely not able to count on those skills when faced with this problem. I’m hoping that writing this out will help?

My choices (after selling my home):

  • Find a rental house closer to my son and his family.  This could be difficult since rentals are quite expensive in their city and the surrounding areas.  I would have the equity money from my house to use to help me survive.  I believe I could live comfortably on monthly draws from that, my SS payments and retirement accounts.
    • Pros
      • Closer to the kids
      • Able to help with getting my grandson to practices, etc., if the kids needed help.
      • Easier to get to see them all–right now I’m 30 minutes away with a travel that takes us on a rather dangerous route–three deaths on that highway just last week. Just to pickup my grandson takes an hour from our days. Same when the kid is bring him here.
    • Cons
      • Do the kids really want me that close?
      • Difficulty finding an affordable place in a safe neighborhood.
      • Possibility of leaving nothing for the kids when I’m gone.
  • Try to find a house in Texas in or close to my old neighborhood.
    • Pros
      • I know the area and I have friends there to do things with and look after me if necessary.
      • The climate may be more favorable to my health issues–it’s not so dry and dusty there, and I would have many more days to get outside, something that is really important to me.
      • Housing costs are much less than in Colorado.
      • No income tax.
      • There would be equity in the home for the kids when I’m gone.
    • Cons
      • So far away from the kids.  When would I see them?
      • Property taxes have risen incredibly since I left there six years ago, and that might mean I could not afford mortgage payments, even for my old home, and that would be the best place to be since I know the neighbors and it’s a very safe neighborhood.
  • Move back to Florida.
    • Pros
      • My best friend is there. And I have a lot of friends there who I worked with.
      • Housing prices are very reasonable, and homes are smaller.
      • Most homes have large yards for the dogs to run.
      • Even houses on the water are affordable.
      • The diversity of flora and fauna, as well as tons of parks and interesting places to visit.
    • Cons
      • I hate Florida.  I lived there for 18 years while my son finished school, went to college and then graduate school. I could afford it because my expenses were low there.  But as soon as he graduated and went to work at Zion NP, I accepted a transfer to Texas.
      • Racism in FL is unbelievable, and it was very hard to deal with. I was always on the wrong side of issues as far as the locals were concerned.
        • Everyone was welcome at our home, but our neighbors didn’t think it was such a good idea. One even threatened my son and his non-white friend that he would call the police if  the friend ever went into his yard.
        • There are many other stories I could tell, but I truly don’t think I could deal with that again.  I prefer to live in a place where everyone is accepted and loved for what’s inside.
      • The heat and humidity are oppressive, and my last year there I endured three hurricanes that one-by-one tore off parts of my roof.  I had a blue FEMA roof cover for almost a year.
      • Florida is full of mean old people.
  • Try to find a senior living community that’s affordable and closer to the kids.
    • Pros
      • Meals and amenities are usually part of the cost.
      • No upkeep or maintenance.
    • Cons
      • I have three dogs, and most only allow one pet.
      • No fenced yard for the dogs to run.
      • Can my furniture fit?
      • Peace and quiet – how thick are the walls?  Will I hear the loud TVs of other people?


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